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Writer's pictureMarshalee Jackson

Feeling Stuck? How to Turn Your 'Shoulds' into 'I Can' and Get Unstuck


 


Do you ever feel like you have this never-ending list of things you think you should be doing? You know, like "I should exercise more," "I should cook more," "I should finish that project." These 'shoulds' can sometimes feel like a heavy burden, making us feel obligated rather than motivated. But what if we could turn these 'shoulds' into empowering 'I can' statements? Here's a simple guide to help you change your perspective and break free from feeling stuck.

How to Shift Your Mindset and Get Unstuck:


1. Identify Your "Shoulds"


Start by making a list of all the things you feel you should be doing. This can include personal, professional, and social obligations. Writing them down helps you see the full picture and recognize patterns.


2. Understand the Why


For each “should,” ask yourself why you feel this way. Is it because of external pressures or internal desires? Understanding the motivation behind each “should” helps you determine if it’s something you truly want to pursue.


3. Reframe Your Language


Language is powerful. Instead of saying, “I should exercise more,” try saying, “I can improve my health by exercising.” This small change shifts the focus from obligation to opportunity, making the task feel more achievable and positive.


4. Break Down the Barriers


Identify what’s holding you back from turning your “shoulds” into action. Is it a lack of time, resources, or confidence? Once you know the barriers, you can create a plan to overcome them. For example, if time is an issue, schedule small, manageable steps into your day.


5. Set Achievable Goals


Transform your “shoulds” into “I can” by setting specific, realistic goals. Instead of “I should read more,” set a goal like “I can read one chapter of a book each week.” This makes the task more tangible and less overwhelming.


6. Celebrate Small Wins


Recognize and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Each step you take towards turning a “should” into an “I can” is a victory. Celebrating these wins boosts your confidence and keeps you motivated.


7. Seek Support


Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or a professional, having someone to support and encourage you can make a big difference. They can provide perspective, accountability, and motivation.


8. Practice Self-Compassion


Be kind to yourself. Changing your mindset and habits takes time. If you slip back into “should” thinking, gently remind yourself of your progress and refocus on your “I can” statements.


 


Transforming your “shoulds” into “I can” is a powerful way to get unstuck and move forward. By identifying your motivations, reframing your language, breaking down barriers, setting achievable goals, celebrating small wins, seeking support, and practicing self-compassion, you can create a more positive and proactive mindset. Start today by turning one “should” into an “I can” and watch how it changes your outlook and your life.

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